


When is an orange not an orange?

by Mary_Jane221B



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Christmas Chocolate, Drabble Collection, M/M, Not Beta Read, Twelvetide drabbles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-03-01 08:11:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13290732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mary_Jane221B/pseuds/Mary_Jane221B
Summary: One Christmas Sherlock fell in the Thames chasing a criminal. John was not amused.





	When is an orange not an orange?

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Hospital.
> 
> People to blame: Numerous creative souls contributing the Twelvetide 2017.
> 
> Be gentle I haven't written anything non-fiction in a long time but it's for a good cause *laughs hysterically before going to find a cider.*

Sherlock and John spent their first Christmas together in hospital. Sherlock had managed to follow Mr Jameson, the suspected head of a particularly vicious kidnapping ring, in to the sub-zero Thames after a midnight chase down the Southbank.  He had gone down with a shout to John, a loud splash and a creative expletive as the Consulting Detective had been forced to shuck his Belstaff quickly in order to prevent him and their unconscious suspect from being pulled down by the river’s current.

Lestrade had prevented John from following Sherlock over the edge of the embankment only by physically dragging him to the nearest set of emergency stairs where they managed to haul Sherlock and their suspect out of the water through the use of the lifebuoy. As such it was only Sherlock and not John who was required to stay bundled up in a hospital bed like an angry burrito in order to prevent hypothermia from setting in.

“John this is completely unnecessary.” Sherlock muttered through the thick scarf John had wrapped around him while they’d waited for the ambulance to arrive. He had complained bitterly when the nurses had removed it to check him over and had immediately rewrapped his face in the fleecy material once they were left with just an exacerbated Lestrade and a bemused Sally Donovan.  

“Maybe we would be listening to you if you hadn’t been flailing around like a drowned cat when we dragged your soaked arse out of the Thames Holmes.” Sally said. Lestrade shot her a look before sending her to search out proper tea or coffee.

Once the door swung closed behind her Lestrade turned back to the bed and said; “She makes a good point though Sherlock, you’re not in a state to judge your condition. We’ll leave that to the doctors and nurses.”

Sherlock glared at him but was stopped from viciously complaining about the Detective Inspector’s lack of respect by John clasping Sherlock’s trembling left hand tightly between his own.

“We should get you some gloves for these. Can’t have you losing your dexterity because of some criminal knobhead can we.” The doctor muttered as he bought his hands and Sherlock’s up toward his mouth and blew lightly in to the cup he formed there. Sherlock swore to himself that he would never wash that hand again now that John Watson had warmed it with his breath.  

Or perhaps not, perhaps he had said that out loud given how a shocked John was meeting his eyes with a slowly developing grin and Lestrade started choking off to his right.  

Sally broke the tension by popping her head back through the door “Sir we’ve had a call from the front desk, Mr Jameson’s woken up if you want to go make the official arrest.” Lestrade gathered his belongings and after one questioning glance at John who answered it with a shrug the DI left at a jog to finally collar his criminal.

“Holmes the nurses said you need some calories in you so here,” She threw a small blue cube at John who caught it one handed.  John chuckled at the sight of the orange wrapped spherical object visible through the boxes plastic covered windows “Tis the season after all.” Sally said before she followed the Detective Inspector from the room.

Sherlock nudged the cube with his knee when John had put it down on the bed. “It’s probably poisoned. I mean what food is that colour.”

“An orange is that colour Sherlock and to be fair that’s exactly what this is designed to look like.” John said as he attempted to break in to the box one handed.

“Yes but oranges don’t come in little blue boxes with plastic windows do they.” Sherlock pointed out.

“No, you’re right there, but this is a Terry’s chocolate orange, not a real orange.” John said, he dropped Sherlock’s hand in order to properly break in to the box.

“Well then, why did Mr Terry decide to wrap his chocolate up like this?  I mean it doesn’t even look like chocolate and it definitely doesn’t look like a real orange. It just looks odd.”

“People use them in stockings now instead of a satsuma or a clementine. Kind of takes some of the love out of it if you ask me, I mean there should be something in your stocking for you to ignore as a kid but here,” John passed the foil covered ball over and Sherlock just looked at it not having a clue how to even start. “You have to tap it and unwrap it.” John instructed.

“Tap it…and unwrap it.” Even wrapped in numerous hospital layers and John’s scarf Sherlock managed to look imperious as he regarded the “One should not have to tap one’s food before consuming it John.”

“Oh come here you great ponce.” John snatched the chocolate back and gave it a solid thump on the edge of the hospital bedside table before he unwrapped the gift and offered Sherlock a segment. “Now eat up and I’ll hold your hand again you big softy.” Sherlock grumped but did as instructed. After all it was always advisable to listen to one’s Doctor he told himself.


End file.
